Are you thinking about living with your partner? Here are the most important questions to ask before moving in together! 

My partner and I made the decision to move in together after a little over two years of being together! For us, it felt natural. We were both living by ourselves (definitely a poor financial decision in Seattle as rent is so expensive for a one-bedroom LOL) and spent most of our time at each other’s places anyway. Even though we were both comfortable with moving in together, it was still a significant step for us to take in our relationship! 

With that being said, it’s a good idea to sit down and have some honest conversations with your partner before you two move in together. There are many important things you have to consider before you take your relationship to the next level! 

This post is a comprehensive guide to all the questions to ask before moving in.

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I earn a small commission if you purchase through them at no extra cost to you. All opinions are genuinely mine.

FINANCIAL QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE MOVING IN

One of the biggest things you should discuss before moving in with your partner is your financial situation! Talking about finances is SO important because when you live together, you’ll have more shared expenses. Money is also one of the most common sources of arguments in relationships. Set expectations in the beginning to avoid conflict later! Ask the following questions to get clear on the financial implications of living together:

#1. What do each of our personal finances look like? 

When you live with someone, you’ll be more tied to their financial situation. You don’t necessarily need to show each other your bank account, but it’s important to have a clear understanding of each other’s financial statuses. Transparency about debt and financial obligations will ensure that there are NO surprises that could affect your joint financial stability. Here are a few items you should address in this conversation:

• Average income
• Average individual monthly expenses
• Outstanding debts (car loans, student debt, etc). 
• Other financial obligations 
• Credit score

#2. How will we split the rent and utilities? When will we pay it each month? 

It’s important to have an open conversation of how you’ll be handling the biggest shared costs – your rent and utilities. Will you be splitting these costs 50/50? Based on income? Also, agree on a payment schedule to avoid any late payments! 

#3. How will we handle all other shared expenses? What is our budget?

Think about groceries, household items, and any subscriptions or shared services. It’s a good idea to have a budget together! This will help prevent overspending. Discuss financial goals and the cost of living in your new place. When it comes to paying, how will you do so? Will you get a joint account? Venmo each other monthly?

QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT ROOMMATE EXPECTATIONS

Moving in with your partner means that you need to evaluate them as a potential roomie! Just because they’re your significant other doesn’t mean you’re not gonna have roommate problems. Get these straight before you move in and ask these necessary questions: 

#4. What are our individual preferences when it comes to household chores and cleaning? 

Understanding each other’s preferences for chores and cleaning is KEY to creating harmony in your living environment! Dive deep into how and when you each do chores now, including things like taking out the trash, washing your sheets, doing the laundry, vacuuming, dusting, Swiffering, etc. Identify where there might be gaps in your preferences because this can definitely lead to conflict! 

#5. How will we divide chores? How frequently will we do chores?

After you understand your own preferences, come to a “cohabitation agreement”  on who is responsible for what tasks to avoid resentment over unequal distribution of household duties (and yard work if you have one!). Set clear ground rules for maintaining the living space. What are the cleanliness standards? How often and quickly should each chore be done (eg. should you change the toilet paper right away when it runs out)? Are there different rules for your own designated area vs shared spaces? 

#6. How will we handle meal planning and grocery shopping?

Discuss who will be responsible for cooking and shopping. Do you have different dietary preferences and needs? How might you work around that? Will you be eating together most nights? My partner and I typically dedicate our Sundays to grocery shopping together and meal prepping for the week! 

#7. What are our rules around guests?

Have a conversation about how often you’re comfortable with having friends or family over. Are any restrictions (eg. maybe you need to have a curfew on weeknights before work)? This includes how you’ll handle social circles and privacy needs.

#8. What do each of us need from the other person? Any pet peeves to be aware of?

You truly don’t know someone until you live with them! There will definitely be a lot of discovery when you first move in, especially of things that you might not notice when you’re living apart. Make sure to communicate your likes and dislikes. Voice any pet peeves you might have! For example, you might be annoyed when people leave dishes in the sink overnight. Let your partner know in advance! 

UNDERSTANDING PERSONAL SPACE & LIFESTYLE

Cohabiting with your partner means potentially seeing them 24/7!!  While it’s great to have so much quality time together, it’s still important to have space for yourself as an individual. Prior to moving in, make sure you have clear communication about your needs. Here are some great questions to ask before you move in! 

#9. What are our daily routines?

Take some time to really understand each other’s daily schedules. Are you a night owl and they’re an early bird? Do you have the same eating times? Talk about sleep habits, work hours, and meal times. This will help you coordinate your days together and identify any areas you both might need to compromise to be better roomies 🙂 

#10. How much alone time do we each need? How much time will we be spending together vs apart?

Balancing time together and apart is crucial. Talk about how you’ll respect each other’s need for personal space! This will help prevent you both from feeling overwhelmed. When my partner and I first moved in, we spent ALL our time together because we didn’t think about this! Over time, we learned how to strike a better balance and now we each have our own space to do things on our own. This would be a great place to discuss individual life goals and how to support each other. 

#11. How will we navigate friendships and socializing with others?

Discuss how you will maintain your friendships and social circles. It’s important to have a plan for socializing both together and separately! Living together will definitely create new dynamics for not only your relationship with your partner but with others as well. For example, you’ll need to be more mindful when inviting people over to your shared space.  

#12. How will we dedicate time to our own hobbies and interests?

It’s crucial that each of you has the time and space to pursue your individual hobbies and interests, which is essential for personal growth and happiness! Have open communication around how much time and what space you need to be able to do these things. How will you respect each other’s personal space?

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RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE MOVING IN

Outside of practical matters, it’s also important to discuss how your relationship will look in this new chapter together! Sharing a physical space is a major step forward in your relationship. SO – ask these questions to check in on your relationship. 

#13. How will we handle disagreements and conflicts? 

Living together can both cause NEW conflict and also change the way you two handle disagreements! For example, conflict over household responsibilities are more likely to arise. When they do, ask yourselves how you’ll handle those in your shared space! If you’re someone who needs space to think, how will you get that when you live together? Establishing a method for resolving conflicts, like regular check-ins or setting aside time to talk, can prevent small problems from becoming major issues. Discuss how you might work through these when you live together! 

#14. What are our long-term goals?

Moving in with someone is a huge step and commitment to each other! So now would be a great time to check in on your long-term goals as a couple. Do you want the same things in the future? Is this the right step for both of you to make? Whether it’s saving for a house, traveling, or planning a family, being on the same page about future goals can strengthen your relationship.

#15. How will we handle major life changes?

You know how the saying goes – change is the only constant in life. Living together means being a part of each other’s daily lives, including the highs and lows. Understanding how you’ll navigate major changes will help you be emotionally ready for the commitment and support required! Discuss how you’ll support each other through job changes, moving to a new city, or other significant life events.

#16. How will we keep the romance alive (and avoid the roommate phase)? 

As you two get settled into living together, it can become easy to fall into a routine and start to treat each other more like roommates than significant others. Make a plan to keep the romance and fun in your relationship, even as you navigate the day-to-day aspects of living together! Plan date nights, surprises, and little gestures that show you care. My partner and I have a goal to do date night every week to keep the spark!

ARE YOU READY TO MOVE IN?

Before you finalize your decision to move in together, make sure YOU’RE personally ready for this big step! My partner and I could have lived together right after graduating college, but decided to live on our own for a while! I’m SO glad we did – I kept telling myself that I’ll be living with my partner for the long term, so why rush it? Take some time to really think about if you’re ready to move in. You have FOREVER to live with someone else! Here are some questions you should ask YOU during your decision-making process.

#17. Am I ready to compromise and share my living space?

Living together means you’ll need to be flexible and willing to make compromises on everything from decorating to daily routines. Is that something you want now in your life? It’s okay if the answer is no! Focus on yourself while you can 🙂 

#18. Do I feel secure and stable in my relationship?

Moving in together is a significant commitment – you’ll now be more financially tied to each other and more of your physical stuff/belongings will be intertwined. Maybe you’ll even get joint accounts! Make sure you feel confident and secure in your relationship before you take the leap. 

#19. Am I prepared to handle conflicts and communicate effectively?

Living together can bring up new challenges. Look introspectively – how capable are you of handling conflicts now? Are there still parts of you that you need to work on before moving in with someone fully? Being ready to communicate openly and resolve conflicts is key.

#20. Am I ready for the potential changes in our relationship dynamic?

Living together can change the dynamics of your relationship! It means sharing more of your daily lives, which definitely comes with more emotional and physical intimacy! It also means more considerations around adjusting to each others’ routines, learning how to navigate conflicts, and maintaining personal space. Ask yourself if you’re truly prepared for this and ready to navigate any adjustments.

Even though you should expect there to be an adjustment period when you first move in, these conversations will allow for a smooth transition! Remember that big moves like this require important consideration beforehand! Make sure you take the time to talk through these topics before living together. Wishing you the BEST of luck with this exciting time!! 

This post was all about questions to ask before moving in. romanticize the changing of the seasons.

This post was all about questions to ask before moving in!